Weary Traveller

My mum gave me a lift into work today, this saved me 20 minutes and £2. I spend the 20 minutes on pottering and general getting ready. I spent the £2 plus and additional £1.10 on a grande caramel frappichino thus negating any savings that I had made for the day. Ho hum.

On the way home I purchased my single ticket and boarded the bus. I cos my usual seat plugged in my headphones and we got on with the ride. It was about 5 minutes in when I noticed that the man in front of me was fidgeting, once I notice some one fidgeting I cannot notice anything else so my full attention was on him. It appeared that he was trying to get into a comfortable position for sleeping on a bus (I favour the sat upright head slumped myself). At first he rested his head against the window and immediately realised the vibration was to violent for slumber ( a problem familiar to us all) the he chose to place his ear on the sill this bus have been uncomfortable because he very soon moved again (no double due to the rigidity of the rubber which I suspect is designed more to keep the windows in place than comfort a weary traveller, foolish bus designers). The he had a brain wave he remembered that he was carrying a bathroom brochure. He quickly produced the pamphlet from his pocket and began the skilful job of transforming this informative d.i.y. resource into a soft and comfortable pillow, he must have done a pretty bad job because even this ad hoc cushion would not suffice for his needs. It struck me that the book that I was carrying and not reading could make a quite passable pillow and nearly offered it to him, then I realised what I would do if the situations were reversed. I would politely decline the confusing offer from an odd stranger and then to show that I did not need the book I would have to take my shirt off make it into a pillow as that is far better than a book I think we can all agree. I did not want to see this mans torso.

******* (thats my name annonimised)

Mobile phones are a wonderful thing we can use them everywhere that there is a signal which lets face it is most places we are. I use my phone whenever I need to with a few exceptions, cinema theatre and hospitals (there are more but I can’t think of them right now). One place that I do use it and don’t mind other people using their phones is on the bus (yes you knew I would come to the bus sooner or later). Today however one phone conversation did annoy and perturb me. I did not have my ipod cos it did not charge for some reason last night ( a situation I am investigating). So I sat on the best seat and started to read my book (yes that again) at some point in the ride the girl behind me decided to ring some one, this person was close to her a boy friend I would venture to say. This person had the same name as me, he had done something wrong and for about ten minutes she proceeded to berate this poor man for some obviously innocuous mistake. Now in the way women tend to do one tactic she employed was saying his name in a tierce and agitated voice sometimes even using his full name (yes I have a name that can be abbreviated for all of you trying to build up a profile of me). As all of you with names will know when some one says your name there is an involuntary reaction in your nervous system which is useful if some one is trying to get your attention but annoying if they are talking to some one with your name over your shoulder. This kept happening to me throughout this conversation when I got off the bus I felt quite beaten and very sorry for what I had done!

On the way home I accidentally made the ‘hi mate are you alright?” face at a person I did not know but looks like a person I sorta know he responded with a ‘who the fuck are you freak’ face at me.

Timetable and Watch

I chose the wrong seat today, well not the wrong seat per say if the bus had been empty it would have been the second best seat (high back but average leg room). However today I chose to sit behind the most inept bus passenger of all time (well the week, probably). Maybe I should not judge I am after all a seasoned bus traveller and know the ways and nuances of how to use public transport, but I am pretty sure that as a bus novice I knew that you needed two things to ride the bus (three including money but that is a given in this capitalist society of ours). Now I will count to three and by three I want you to have thought of two things that you think you might need when attempting to carryout a bus journey, one….two….three. done it? Did you by any chance think of a bus timetable and a watch? If you did 10 points (what the hey this is my point system if you got both you get 863 points if you got one 562 points coming your way). Unfortunately the woman sitting in the seat in front of me would only have 212 points (as she had neither of these things).

When I got on the bus I did not know I was sitting behind a moron so I settled down and read my book. After about 15-20 mins this woman turned around and asked me the time I said “about half past” (it was actually 34 mins past but I am never sure if people need this level of accuracy and what if my watch is wrong and I give what I thought to be an accurate time would I hinder them more than if I gave them a vague impression of the time? She turned round I went back to my book. 3 seconds later she turned round again ”half past what?” ok I am not the most organised person in the world, I don’t clam to be but I do know roughly what hour I am in particularly no especially when I am on a bus. oh she’s forgotten her watch poor lady, I thought and got on with my book still unaware of the depths of unpraparedness of my fellow traveller. I finished my chapter and took the opportunity to look up and see how far along we were, I was pleased to see that the day was a clear and warm one. Then the woman turned round and asked me a question to which she should have known the answer to before she even contemplated boarding the bus, a question that I was totally ill prepared for it took me back so much that I I did not even answer the second part of it. “do you know when this bus get to Bristol?” I replied with “no cos I a only go to the mall” (for a thought a no would be to blunt) “oh because I have to be in Bristol by 10.30”

she would not get to Bristol by 10.30.

Commute Comment

Today the bus driver said, “not cribs AGAIN” in a jovial tone, I replied “yes again” in a mock resigned manner.

Any Idea?

On the corner of every pane of glass on every bus is a British standard mark showing the specifications of said glass, and on every window on every bus I have been on in the past year someone has highlighted these with a yellow right angle. does anyone know why? I really want to know (well when I say really, obviously not enough to contact some one who might actually know and be able to tell me, but enough to put it up on internet so that the cyber flotsam and jetsam can speculate)

High Gear?

As I boarded today the driver told me that there was something wrong with the bus, that it could not accelerate up to top speed very fast but go fast when it is there. During my journey I noticed that this was in fact the case, what I did not notice was him telling any other passengers about the problem. I do hope that he didn’t think that in telling me he had somehow passed the responsibility of telling other people on to me, cos I told no one. Except Simon. He wasn’t on the bus though. He was at work.

The bus home was unaffected.